Last night I got a call, that Faye had died the night before.  Getting a call from an unknown or unexpected number in a Florida area code is always a little scary. But I had no idea that Faye had been close to the end.

Her obituary & burial (Find-a-Grave)

What is your first memory of Faye?

I met Sandra "Faye" Dawkins, with her incredibly vivid blue eyes, on my first day at Capital Floorcoverings in Tallahassee, Florida. Ironically, we only worked together about a year--certainly less than two. I probably wouldn't have predicted that we would have been friends for decades.

An early memory involved her bringing in her designer dresses to work, for all of us to see. I believe she wore them back when she was a lobbyist. I remember one particular floral diaphanous dress with butterfly sleeves. She must have been a sight in her youth!

Share a favorite memory you have.

During the first year I married Barry, his company went out of business, then my company went out of business, then he was laid off. So money was really tight. Faye would buy me lunch if I would go and pick hers up for her. Besides my getting a free lunch out of the deal, that meant Faye introduced me to restaurants she liked. I had never had Greek food before and she loved gyros at Captain Pete’s. I started buying Cavender’s Greek Seasoning there and have always had it in my kitchen since then. I'm not totally sure why she would get me to get her lunch--certainly, because she was nice. But I can't remember, she might not have been able to drive at that point, due to a medical condition. I believe she was also a fan of Central Park burgers (or maybe it was another tiny drive-thru restaurant similar to that).

A special moment you shared with Faye

When Faye lost a family member that year we met, it was a time when we had a chance to actually talk about spiritual things. In some ways, it seems like we've always been close since that conversation.

A time when Faye made you laugh or smile

The first time I brought my kids out to Anthill Plantation, she gave them a tall, white fabric, animated motion-sensitive ghost. (First of all, she put it out to shock them!) Later, I shot one of my most amusing videos of my daughter, after surreptitiously putting The Ghost in the bathroom during a Harry Potter party, and having it startle my daughter a little like “Moaning Myrtle" in The Chamber of Secrets.

Something you'll always remember about Faye

Faye was generous with her time and generous with her love. If I ever came to Tallahassee, she absolutely wanted to make time to make a visit happen. Most of the time, I think that meant Earl driving her, which was actually a big commitment from him. When we didn't have time to drive out to Quincy, they often visited us in Tallahassee. Sometimes, we chatted with my in-laws at their house; sometimes, they took the 5 of us out for meals, which was incredibly sweet. Once, they took us to a restaurant called "Treasures" in Quincy. When I was impressed by their bread pudding, she convinced me to ask the owners for the recipe. They shared it, and I've been making it ever since.

Also, they drove out for both my father-in-law's and my mother-in-law's funerals, which was especially meaningful. I'm not certain, but I think that might have been the last two times we saw her and Earl.

I'll also remember the special bond she had with her dogs. Losing them was such a horrendous experience for her. She may be the only person I know with large granite headstones for her fur-babies.

And I remember that she loved beautiful things. I don't know what kind of crystal it was, but I believe she had really nice pieces, probably that Earl was bringing back from the Middle East or something. But each time she got one, and this seems to be like memories from decades or more ago, she would let me know about how beautiful it was. And she shared with me that she loved jewelry, though for some reason it seems like this was really from her much younger years. The first time I came out to her house, she was excited to show me her beautiful things and plants and flowers.

She's had a number of medical issues through the years; I feel like she had something wrong with her eyes, and for a while, I think she struggled with her hearing. I know she had any other number of issues back and forth, which I guess wouldn't be surprising when you've known somebody over 30 years. Sometimes, she was pretty rattled by it. But often, she was philosophical, looking for better times.

Which reminds me--Faye was transparent. I remember a lot of times where she was very positive. Definitely most of the time. But, she let me know when she was tired of being ill, when she was really upset about a situation, when she was lonely, etc. There was definitely an authenticity in our relationship.

What is a shared experience you had with Faye

For starters, riding around in her golf cart and hearing about all of the new shrubs and flowers she had planted recently was a high point to each trip to Quincy. It was fun to see Anthill Plantation expand every time we went out there.

She also wanted me to meet her family. I had a chance to do an interior design project with her brother Wayne, and later, I got a chance to meet Lisa. And naturally there were quite a few times when I had a chance to spend time with Earl. And she made a point to remember everybody in my family. She would spoil the kids when we came, let them drive the golf cart, etc. There's a lot of land at their house, and she didn't mind the kids running all over, playing with the dogs, etc.

I'll always remember picking pecans with her. This is something we did at Anthill Plantation (over near the ancient houses); it was reminiscent of picking them up my grandmother's house, which was sweet, because Grandma's house had been sold while I lived in Florida. Faye taught me how to use a pecan picking tool. Later, we've picked pecans in Virginia, because it was an experience that we wanted to continue.

Another shared experience was having a good relationship with our husbands. To be honest, I can't think of her ever being critical of Earl (except maybe sometimes when he was going for a long job and she just simply didn't want to be left alone so far from Tallahassee); and that was less about Earl and more about the reality of people needing to make a living.) But otherwise, she always had a lot of respect in that relationship. Since I have a good relationship with my husband, I'm grateful to talk to others (especially, a generation older than me) that have strong relationships, because through the years, I've known so many people who have not had that luxury.

What is something you did together that you enjoyed?

Both of us did crafts--she, more than me. She had a fabulous building out back with all of her crafts; I think she might have sold some of the stuff, but to be honest, most of the time it sounded like she gave it away as gifts. We both volunteered with the elderly, even while I lived in Tallahassee. It's something we have had in common even to the end. She worked in Alzheimer's care; I play concerts in Memory Care units.

Describe a place or activity that reminds you of Faye

An activity we had in common was cooking. I feel like she brought more things to work at Capital Floorcoverings than I ever did. But she was always very complimentary of any of the things that I cooked and brought to her. She loved my pecan pralines. Several times through the years, she would send me pecans--including last Christmas. If her trees weren't bearing that particular year, she would send Earl to get some for me and they would ship them. Because a Southern girl has to have pecans!

Faye had a way with a lot of the employees that worked with us, because of her Southern cooking. They would get very excited if there was a potluck and she was bringing stuff! When you came to her house for a meal, it seems like she had something on every burner, something in the oven, and something else in the crock pot. We're talking greens, stewed tomatoes, cornbread, Black-eyed peas, and who knows what else--probably okra.

Describe a personal story or anecdote involving Faye.

Barry and I realized that Tallahassee wasn't the best fit for us, and I talked things over with Faye. One of the vendors helped me get a job in Jacksonville. But it was going to be a tight thing, financially. She asked me and Barry to come out to dinner in Woodville, and she and Earl offered to float us a loan, to make sure we would get through the transition (especially all of those startup fees with renting, deposits for utilities and phones, etc.). It was something I don't even think my parents would have offered. We paid them back when we were back on our feet, probably month by month.

What is something you learned from Faye?

Clearly multigenerational friendships is one of the big concepts I learned from Faye. Having a person who believes in you--who truly loves your accomplishments, who gets excited about your children, etc.—is priceless.

Her flexibility during the years Earl was traveling so much for work was incredible. I was excited that she came to see me in Virginia one year when he had a job that required him to come through. But I was impressed how she would navigate the months when he was out of the country (the worst I’ve handled is having a husband who worked the night shift). And I was surprised when she went to live with him in their travel camper--I hadn't realized that she would be able to enjoy that kind of experience.

Another thing that I learned from her is continuity. If I didn't reach out to her every few months, she would reach out to me. When I reached out to her this Thanksgiving and didn't hear from her, and then again at Christmas and didn't hear from her--I should have known that there was a problem. She was in the hospital nearly all of that time.

It Is hard to lose family members and friends also. I have to say that the older I get it seems like it just gets harder. But that’s the way the good Lord has made and we have to accept it even though it is not easy. –Faye, May 8, 2023

I hope when I pass, I can come back as your kittycat.--Faye, July 20, 2023

I'm so grateful to have had the opportunity to be friends with Faye. She was a special lady, with a huge smile, and I cannot wish her to be here, when she is in such a better place now.

Of course, if I could have seen her just 1 more time…